I’ve been having some sleepless nights lately. I fall asleep easily but then I wake up at 3 or 4 AM with my thoughts swirling around in my head. I’m thinking about my business, and all the things that I should be doing. I get anxious and fearful. Does this happen to you too?
Interestingly enough, I don’t feel this way during waking hours. I wonder why it creeps in at 3 AM and wakes me up.
During the day I feel clear and focused. There is always something to do and I enjoy talking with my clients. If I’m concerned about something I take some action to change it. But at 3 AM when I’m half asleep I feel ambushed by these fearful thoughts. They are flashing on a big black screen in my mind and are the only thing that I see.
I’ll be the first one to tell you that sitting in these negative thoughts is not productive. I don’t want to stay focused on them and give them any juice. They are certainly nothing that I want to be expanding upon. In a way I feel powerless to stop them because I’m half asleep and laying in bed with no way to distract myself from them.
Maybe that is the point? (This is not where I expected this post to go. I’ve already written out a few paragraph’s talking about how to shift your focus, and as I’m editing this I find myself going in a new direction…..let’s see where it takes us.)
This fear is something that I’ve been avoiding for a while. I’m an expert at keeping myself busy and focused on creating all the things that I want. I rarely allow myself to sit in my fear. Once it comes up I shift my focus to what I want. But here it is waking me up in the middle of the night. Poking and prodding me and making me feel like I’m not doing enough.
I think it’s time that I invite my fear to sit on my back porch with me and drink some tea so we can talk things out. It’s time to stop hiding behind all my bus-i-ness and deal with my fear face to face.
OK Fear- meet me at 2 on the back porch and we’ll work this thing out. I’m ready.