How often do you end up doing things you don’t really want to do because it’s expected of you?
You go to collage right out of high school because your parents expected you too….or you get married and have kids because it’s what your partner expects. Then you spend all your free time running your kids around because you’re expected to. That’s what parents do.
I know someone who went to law school because that is what was expected. The fact that they had no interest in becoming a lawyer was irrelevant. They ended up spending $100,000 and wasting years of their life on something that they hated. Only to ditch it later when they woke up and decided to take their life back.
I let myself get totally burnt out and sick working 70 hours a week as a restaurant manager because it was expected of me. That was before I smartened up and decided that I was in charge of my time and how much I worked.
Living according to other people expectations is a slippery slope that often dumps you right into a pre-packaged life that feels crappy. Matter of fact- the first step towards defying the box and flying your freak flag is choosing NOT to live according to other people expectations.
This makes expectations seem like they are a bad thing…but is that really true?
I’m certain that having to live up to someone else’s expectations sucks! It’s limiting and tends to end up with you trying to cram yourself into a box of conformity. Not so very kick-ass!
BUT- I think expectations are helpful in some instances. Knowing what is expected of you in your job or by your partner is very helpful! It makes things flow much easier because you know what someone wants you to do. There’s no guess work.
AND- Having your own expectations for how things will go and what you will do is extremely helpful from an energetic perspective.
You get what you expect- any LOA student knows that.
Picturing how you want things to be, using your intention and expecting that it will turn out as you wish is powerful magic. It’s how I create my Kick-Ass Life! What about you?
I think expectations are sucky when they are forced on you and there is no clear communication about what is expected so you can say “yes” or “no” to it. I see this happen in relationships all the time.
Hell, I sometimes do it!! I used to expect that my boyfriend would automatically come to all family events with me….because that’s what you did- in my mind at least. He preferred for me to invite him and let him choose whether he wanted to come or not. I’d get so mad when he said he needed to think about going.
Our relationship got much better once we started discussing our expectations with each other, and each of us having the option to choose which exceptions we wanted to play along with.
It’s all about the choice. (Isn’t everything??)
I know that some philosophies say to release expectations– but that’s a bunch of bullshit! We’re human and part of being human is having an opinion on how you want things to be in your life. That is what helps you live the life you want to live.
What I think we could stand to release is the belief that everyone knows what we expect and has to live up to it. When it comes right down to it, your outcome is up to you. No one else is responsible for it. You can have all the expectations that you want, but it’s all on you to make sure they play out.
Perhaps the secret is to become aware of what your expectations are. Then let people know what they are and give them the choice to play along or not. Just like you have the option of playing along with theirs or not.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
Are expectaions helpful or not?
What are some of yours and how do they serve you?