I’ve been ignoring my blog for a few weeks.
Sorry about that!
I’ve really missed writing here, but all my brain power has been taken up working on the info page for my new group program. It’s called Create Your Kick-Ass Life in 2011 and I am very excited about. It has morphed into something quiet spectacular and I am really excited to share it with you.
But that will have to wait for just a few more days.
I just had this really cool experience that I want to share with you. I’ll admit that I’m really over tired right now, but not in a cranky sort of way, it’s more of an excited, satisfied felling, like after you’ve been up all night having hot sex. (Unfortunately that is not why I am tired.) My cat Tipsy woke me up at 5 AM with some kitty love and I couldn’t get back to sleep because I was struck by some inspiration for the Create Your Kick-Ass Life info page.
Anyway-back to my story.
I’m chillaxin’ and listening to Pandora on my head phones while I finish up my work. This is different for me because I usually like it quiet, but tonight I’m listening to the Nora Jones station and this song called Breath by Anna Nalick comes on and I start singing along.
This song is truly beautiful and as I sing along I can feel it resonating through my being. Next thing I know, I am caught up in a big wave of emotion and tears are streaming down my face, and I begin to get choked up. I turn my focus inside to see what is going on for me, and what I feel is this longing to sing.
It felt like singing is something that I can’t have.
Who says I can’t sing??
Apparently I do.
If I am honest with myself, I recognize that signing is something that I always want to do, but for some reason I hold myself away from it.
It wasn’t always that way. I used to sing all the time when I was little. My Dad had an amazing voice and we used to sing together. I sang in school and my friends invited me to sing in their church with them. I even sang a song for my friend at her wedding.
A some point singing became something that made me feel really vulnerable. I became afraid to sing in public and in front of people. Then I didn’t sing at all anymore. It became something that ” I can’t do”.
I miss it!
I want to sing and I want to feel good about doing it! I’m going to reclaim my voice. In my Kick-Ass Life I sing out loud and clear without fear and it feels good!
Although, when I say that I can feel the fear in the pit of my stomach. I’ll work through it.
I will be inviting you all to join me for Karaoke sometime soon.