It’s one thing to know your process;it’s another thing to trust it.
Being in your Sovereignty means knowing yourself deeply, how you work and what you need to thrive. When you know what works for you, you can stop wasting your time trying to do things someone else’s way, and do them your own way instead.
Doing things your way feels like freedom. You’re in the zone where everything is flowing nicely. You feel tapped in and turned on. Powerful. Things are happening for you.
Then there are the times when you know your process, and resist it….you make it wrong because you think things should be happening differently. There is lots of struggling and doubting yourself. What fun…NOT!
A perfect example of this is my writing process. I have a love / hate relationship to writing. It’s not something I can force. I have to be in the mood and the words need to be ready to flow. When the inspiration is there and the words are ready to pour out, it’s wonderful…..and easy. It all falls out onto the page.
Then there are the days when I’m not ready to write. I may be inspired, and THINK I’m supposed to be writing, but if the words are not ready to flow, I end up sitting in front of my computer, frustrated, and trying to make myself write. Which never works, and often results in my stomping around the house aggravated, feeling like a failure and a fraud and wondering “What is wrong with me today? Why can’t I do this?” Do you ever feel this way?
Recently, I’ve been experiencing this frustration more than I like. I’ve been splitting my time between the pottery studio a few days a week (I’m doing a year long apprenticeship there), and coaching. I’ve decided that Tuesday’s are my day for writing and block off a few hours to do it. Too bad my words are not on board with this idea (they require a bit more freedom and hate being on a schedule).
Often times, I sit down at the appointed time and nothing wants to come out. The more I try and force it , the less I have to say. My mind is one big blank and I feel my energy becoming super constricted…I feel powerless. What makes it all worse…..because I feel like I have less time to write, I put pressure on myself to get it done NOW.
The story I’m telling myself is: if I was a real professional, I’d be able to sit down and crank out a series of brilliant and informative emails and blog posts on demand.
I KNOW what my process is. I know I can’t force myself to write. But I still find myself thinking I should be able to do it. I think about all the advice I hear about making yourself sit down and do it…..make yourself write for 15 minutes…set a timer….JUST DO IT. None of that shit works for me. I end up all twisty and feeling bad about myself.
The thing is….trying to force myself to write and making myself wrong for not being able to do it implies that I don’t trust my process. I’m not honoring or trusting myself….and I’m definitely NOT on my own side.
Forcing myself sit at my computer, struggling to write; while feeling stuck and powerless is not an act of love…..nor is it freedom.
So what do you do when you feel this way?
You turn towards yourself and offer up some love and understanding.
Stop pushing and making yourself wrong…accept where you are.
Be on your own side.
The instant cure all when I’m feeling this way is to ask – “What would feel like freedom right now?” Then go do that.
Once you have a bit of space, ask yourself what is causing you to doubt yourself? What story about who you’re supposed to be, or the “right way” of doing things are you buying into? Once you have some clarity, it’s easier to make the choices that feel right to you.
Trusting your process means giving yourself permission to do things your way…It’s being on your own side and giving yourself permission to be you……even when you’re having a hard time and things aren’t working out the way you planned.
Trusting your process means getting up and walking away from the computer when the words aren’t flowing……and going to do something that feels light and fun instead.
Trusting your process = knowing how you work and allowing yourself the space to do it your way. This is sovereignty and freedom.
I’d love to hear about your process …..and if you trust it or not?