How do you decide what’s right for you?
Online Research? Lists of pro’s and con’s? Talking to other people?
Do you collect a lot of data and look around to see what works for other people?
Maybe you spend long hours thinking through your options, examining all the possible scenarios in your head and then making a choice?
All of these things are fine and dandy, but the only true way to know if something is right for you is to experience it. You need to see how it makes you feel.
Online dating is a great example of this. You see someone’s profile, they claim to have all the qualities you’re looking for. You like the picture they share so you chat them up for a while and and think- They seem perfect…But you can’t really tell till you meet them in person if there is any chemistry. All too often, someone looks great on paper but they don’t do it for you in person.
One of my kick-ass clients had what appeared to be her dream job. It was a step up, more responsibility, more money, more of an opportunity to make a difference in kids lives. It looked great on paper, like everything she thought she wanted. But the reality was that it didn’t feel the way she expected it to. No matter how hard she worked, she never felt comfortable. It didn’t feed her soul; it sucked the life right out of her. (Don’t worry, we changed all of that).
I did my time in a soul sucking job that looked great on paper too. Everyone thought I was crazy to walk away. But feeling good is way more important to me than looking successful. Making the choice to move on allowed me to have the whole package! Now my life looks good AND feels good.
We live under the illusion that the way to make choices is to think them through. Our minds are great at collecting and analyzing data, but your mind is not your inner authority when it comes to knowing what’s a good fit for you. The only way to know for sure is through experience and how it feels to you.
Trust your feelings. Anything that feels constricted, tight, afraid, stressed out and small is an indication that you are off course. If you feel expansive, inspired, turned on, and tapped into your bigness- you’re heading in the right direction.
What are your feelings telling you about your life? Are you on the right course? Or could you use a bit of help adjusting things?