How to Breakthrough Without Breaking Down

Pretty punky girl with brightly dyed red hairDo you have to have a breakdown before you can breakthrough?

This question was asked by one of my Facebook peeps and the most common answer she got was “Hell Yhea!”. The reasoning was a breakthrough requires a perspective shift so that you can see things in a new way and open up to possibilities that you couldn’t see before. In order to do this you have to have your old assumptions challenged in such a way that you are willing to let go of them and that’s when the breakthrough happens.

Although, I know this to be true in many cases, the idea that you HAVE to have a breakdown first doesn’t resonate with me.I decided a long time ago that I was done with needing an ordeal to get the lesson or have a big breakthrough, I could let it be easy (When I want to endure discomfort for something, I get another tattoo).

I know it is possible to grow and expand without a breakdown. There doesn’t have to be any struggle involved, and I believe that the breakdown is all about resistance and not believing you can have what you want without justifying the need for a change.

 It seems to me resistance is the big cause for the breakdown……creating this big mass of horrible-yuck that’s so uncomfortable we are forced to entertain the possibility of things being different.

A desire for something different is where your breakthrough lives. When you don’t allow yourself to seriously entertain the possibility of having something different it takes a breakdown to push you on through.

What I often see is someone clinging to their stories and dis-satisfaction because they believe it’s all that is possible for them. Things have to become super horrible before they allow themselves to open up to having something different. Suffering allows them to justify their need for something new before it’s OK for them to have it.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard clients justifying what they want and why they deserve a new partner, living situation or to do  what they love. They go through long lists of why things aren’t working for them, how much they have put up with and all the reasons why they deserve something better.

 Hear this-

 You deserve to have a life you love just because you are here. You get to decided what your life looks like and how you live.

Why not stay focused on feeling good and when things feel off, shift towards what feels better without the drama or everything falling apart? Unless you like the drama… it’s not my thing.

Things dramatically shifted for me when I decided  I’d rather focus on my expansion and feeling good in my life. When things start to feel constricted it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate cause I’ve popped out of alignment and it’s time to adjust things.

Another thing that shifted for me was that I stopped justifying what I wanted and gave myself permission to want what I want and to have it too. That removed most of my resistance. I didn’t have to make everything wrong before I allowed myself to change it.


So, how do you have a breakthrough without a breakdown?

Pay attention to your alignment and how you feel. When something feels off to you- ask yourself- “what would feel better”. When you make feeling good your top priority you won’t have to go through hell before you allow yourself to have something better.

Give yourself permission to tune into your desire and to have what you want without the need to justify it. Everyone I work with knows deep down inside what they really want, they just don’t think they can have it without justifying it.

Focus your attention on your desire. Give your new desire room to breath and grow by picturing yourself having it without needing to know HOW it’s going to show up. Focusing on HOW leads to thoughts of earning and deserving it which brings you back in that place of not being able to have what you want. Play with your desire. Daydream about having what you want and how awesome it feels, what it adds to your life. Think about what you are going and never mind where you have been.

 Let it be easy!


I’d love to hear your thougths on this!

What has been your biggest breakdown to breakthrough?




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