This morning I woke up feeling panicked and thinking that I am total fraud in my business.
All I could think about was all the stuff that I have not done yet!
Why the hell am I not finished with those programs that I am working on!
I suck man!!!!
I am a total lazy slacker!!
What the Fuck??
Am I really good enough to pull this Empire thing off?
Do I even know what I am talking about?
I am not sure what sets this off, but it happens every so often. I get caught up in a swirl of DOUBT. Boy does it feel like crap. It is certainly not the Juicy Goodness that I like to be swimming in. Feeling this way can totally wreak my day…but mostly it makes me feel like I need something outside of myself in order to be good enough to succeed. This is usually the state of mind that I am in when I sign up for a tele-class that I do not really need or want, or buy a book that I will never read.
My self-doubt leads me to looking to other folks for the answers and buying something I do not need.
Do you do this too?
It is lucky for both of us that I have come back to my senses and I can offer up a few comments and practices to keep self-doubt tied up in the basement where it belongs. And…you don’t have to sign up or buy anything to get it
Here are my thoughts on self-doubt and what to do about it:
Most of the time, when I doubt myself, I am really noticing a something in my life or business that is ready to expand and get taken up a notch.
The problem is that I am so used to thinking of myself as ‘needing improvement’, I automatically focus my attention on what is missing and how I am somehow lacking. It is kind of like a default setting. I have done lots of work to get rid of this thought pattern, but sometimes it still sneaks in there. Thankfully I notice right away and do a few tricks to put it back in the basement.
When I come up against the places in my business and life that feel like they are not where I am wanting them to be, rather than make myself wrong, it is an opportunity to ask myself “What would be better?”.
Our lives and businesses are ever expanding and growing things. It is very common to be moving forward and learning new things and feeling really great about where things are going and how they are developing, then…. BAM….we hit the wall and we begin to feel like we are not doing enough, or are not good enough. That is an indication that it is time to focus on the next bit of expansion and to further expand into your brilliance.
The key is to remember that we never get it all done. There is always more to do, to know, or some technique to improve upon. It is noticing these places that need improvement that prompts us to expand further into our expertise. But typically, you get caught up in what is lacking or what is not working, and it is a downward energetic spiral from there. Next thing you know you are doubting yourself.
So…what do you do about it???
First: Embrace the idea that you never get it done. There will always be something more to learn and expand upon. Stop trying to make everything perfect.
Second: Embrace the idea that there is no “Perfection”. We do not get to a place where we are Perfect in our career’s (or life) and do not need to do anymore work. I think if you did allow yourself to sit in one place for very long you would get bored really fast and things would become stagnant. Looking to know more and become more skilled is the fastest path to becoming a master of your craft and an expert in your given field. Keep on growing, exploring and being curious about how you can take things up a notch.
Third: learn to give yourself credit for what you have accomplished and how far you have come. This is the tricky part for most folks! I know it is for me. I am really good at identifying what would be better, but I have to remind myself to appreciate and celebrate all that I have done already.
Something that helps me with this is a daily appreciation practice. Every day, take time to notice and write down at least 3 things that you appreciate about yourself…what you have accomplished…what you want more of.
Write down what is working for you.
Celebrate yourself and how much of a Rock Star you really are!
You can also take it a step farther and focus some energy on where you want things to expand to…Like “wouldn’t it be cool if _________ happened”, or ” Wouldn’t it be cool if I easily did________”
Tell the Universe what you want more of! Give it some directions around what would feel good to you.
Finally: Know that you deserve and can have all the success (or whatever else)that you desire. You Rock…and you deserve everything that you want. Remind yourself of that by doing the appreciation practice mentioned above. These simple practices can change your world!
If you are still finding yourself caught up in the cycle of self –doubt,give me a call and I can teach you some more tricks for kicking it to the curb.