The other night I was catching up with my friend Steve and he was all pumped up with the energy of the Generate: Global Faerie Gathering he had been to last week. He shared how powerful it was to be surrounded by so many people who were committed to exploring who the LGBT are as a queer global tribe!
One of the things that touched him deeply was the heart share circle they had, where everyone got a chance to express the internal struggles they face. He said it was powerful, raw, and emotional, with lots of tears and support. Some of men shared that this was the first time they ever felt safe enough to express their inner struggle AND the first time they ever saw men cry. WOW!!!
The thing that I thought was MOST interesting about all this was most of the internal struggles people were dealing with had to do with how they felt about being homosexual and how they struggled to feel good about themselves and their choices when they’ve been so deeply conditioned to think it was wrong.
Even when you own who you are, and are public enough to consider yourself a Radical Faerie, you still have to deal with all the haters and constant messaging that says there is something wrong with you. You end up having to defend yourself and your choices all the time.
You can’t help but internalize these messages that you grew up in side of and are bombarded by every day and eventually you notice that it’s not just the people around you who are judging you, it’s your own inner dialogue that is making you feel like something is wrong with you.
This conditioning runs deep and most of the time, you don’t even notice it. It’s always behind the scenes making you judge yourself and creating these inner struggles that prevent you from truly loving yourself, flying your freak flag and boldly ruling your world.
You don’t have to be homosexual to know what this internal struggle is like. We all deal with it on some level. We grow up in a society that likes to create sheeple.- where the status quo is the way to go. We are conditioned from an early age to follow the rules and fit in. When you don’t, you’re quickly made to feel like a freak and something is wrong with you. No wonder we feel defensive!
Growing up, I always felt like I had to defend myself, or explain and justify my choices. On one hand this made me into the fabulous, kick-ass renegade that I am, but it also made me struggle with loving myself and not judging myself harshly. It wasn’t until I did the inner work to unleash myself from these stories and learned to truly love and accept myself, was I able to step into my full power and rule my world.
Steve and I both agreed that everyone can benefit from being unleashed.