Get ready, I am going to out myself here.
I recently found myself in the place of feeling dissatisfied with just about everything. Feeling like I am not doing enough, fast enough, to realize my vision for what I want to create. I was beginning to feel frustrated and a bit inadequate.
This is not an unfamiliar place for me. I lived firmly in this place for most of my 43 years. I was always dissatisfied and looking for ways to fix things, do them differently, and improve upon whatever was in front of me. I guess you could say I was driven and determined. I was always stressed out and frustrated. There was always something else to do. I was never done. I would get burnt out and found myself sick a lot of the time. My body was screaming at me to slow down and take a break from all the dissatisfaction and striving.
And I did get a break in the form of a severely sprained ankle and broken foot and was forced to take 6 weeks off from my job. This was a blessing in disguise because it allowed me to catch up on my reading. I read two books by Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements and The Mastery of Love, and I started on my path of transformation.
I went to coaching school and did the Priestess Path Apprenticeship. I became a student of the Law of Attraction. I recognized that all my striving, frustration and stress was not going to get me where I wanted to be. It became very clear to me that spending so much of my time and energy focused on what was not working for me and what needed to be “fixed” was only getting me more dissatisfaction, stress and frustration. I learned to shift my focus to what was working, and what I wanted more of. When I was experiencing something that I did not want, I learned to ask myself “What would be better?” in order to use the contrast of what I did not want to my advantage.
It became very clear to me that I needed to embrace the practice of celebrating my accomplishments. I was good at seeing what I wanted to be different and doing what needed to be done to create that change, but I never took the time to appreciate what I had accomplished. I would just move right on into the next thing. I created a daily practice of celebrating my accomplishments and noticing what I loved about myself. This practice became my secret weapon. I began to feel deeply satisfied and proud of myself. My entire experience changed for the better and life got easier.
Because this shift was so powerful for me, I decided to anchor it into my being by participating in an intentional tattoo ceremony. I choose an image that represented to me the balance between hard work and celebration. The ceremony was beautiful. Many of my peeps were holding space for me and my intention for maintaining the practice of celebrating. They danced, sang, drummed and soothed me during the process. A powerful priest/ healer/tattoo artist infused the ink with the energy of my intention. Two and a half hours later the ceremony was finished and I had a beautiful new tattoo. Every time I look at it I remember the meaning behind it and the importance of celebrating my hard work. This tattoo became part of my secret weapon for satisfaction.
So, how could I find myself back in the familiar place of dissatisfaction and frustration?!?
I stopped celebrating my accomplishments. I was so busy focusing on what was not here yet; I did not see all that I have created.
Thank God my business coach gave me a smack down and straightened me out. Once I took a step back and took note of how far I have come and all the things I have created, I realized that I was rockin’ it out and just forgot to notice. 😉
I will say that during the Summer Solstice gathering this past weekend I did make a point to reaffirm my intention to celebrate my accomplishments everyday and appreciate all that goodness that is around me.
I am happy to report that I am feeling on top of my game and deeply satisfied. The secret weapon is working once again.