Is the world ready for a spiritual, rocker chick, rebel, self-help author and modern mystic? I sure hope so because Lisa Marie Selow is on the scene and rocking out her new book- A Rebel Chick Mystic’s Guide. (Published by Hay House, Inc.)
Why am I telling you about this?
Because Lisa, is a friend and client who wants to help you to heal your spirit with the power of positive rebellion. Hell yhea!!!
She’s also a fine example of someone who flies their freak flag high and proud. I remember when this book was just a dream for Lisa and it has been such a pleasure to witness ( and assist ) her expansion into the bright shining star she is today.
I got the chance to interview Lisa about her book and what needed to shift for her to expand into her dream. Read the interview below and buy her book!! (She’s giving away some cool freebies with and one of them is from me).
What inspired you to write your book and why write for brave, misfit women?
I’ve always been about empowering women to live more courageous, authentic lives in my varied work history. I’ve worked with women from so many backgrounds, in a variety of ways, from legal assistant to massage therapist to energy worker to intuitive counselor and now, as life coach and speaker. During my woo woo professions, I noticed some common concerns of my female clients. Repeatedly, similar guidance came through for these women. The wisdom was too good not to share with a wider audience. It felt like I was being called into service to help larger numbers of women, so I put some glue on my chair and wrote a book proposal, which led to me getting a book contract. The inspiration came from me learning so much from my clients and wanting to pass it along to others.
I wrote my self-help book for the nonconformist women, since it can take courage to live as one’s true self. Traditionally, self-help books have not been written in droves for those of us who part of the countercultures. No matter how I dressed or branded myself as an intuitive counselor, I noticed that I attracted the rebellious types. Something about their appearance, mindset, or way of living was outside the norm. My audience found me! So, I wrote a book for them.
When you’ve felt different your entire life, there still might be parts of you that feel unloveable. I bring exercises, stories, and examples to help misfits and nonconformists to feel more embraced, especially within. We’re not always taught how to love ourselves and at times, it can feel isolating to be a rebel. I wanted to help liberate rebels to create their own lives with their own rules and to find their tribes and places of belonging. It defies the stereotype of a rebel being a loner and without a cause. I encourage finding one’s own path, including life purpose and spirituality too, possibly even rejecting some of one’s family of origins’ beliefs about work, religion, and gender roles.
Why is it important to ditch the “good girl” persona?
The main reason is because it’s not really one’s true self. It’s a mask that keeps one from expressing her inner truth. It keeps us stuck in our childhood roles and stories at times. I think sometimes we take on the mask of the good girl as protection. Our child’s mind creates the reality that if we’re good enough, x, y, or z won’t happen and we’ll be safe. If one persists in the good girl role, one loses her true identity. You’re not able to say “no” to things that don’t honor your values, identity, and schedule. You’re not able to disappoint people. That itself can exhaust you. People pleasing is exhausting and not always a genuine way to live. Plus, if you’re the good girl, you miss out on having a bit of fun or rocking your feminine edge. I mean, I myself would miss wearing fishnets or red lipstick or red patent leather heels. Yes, embracing one’s sexuality is part of the ditching of the good girl persona. But, it’s also a loving mindset that you take care of yourself and then, you’re able to help others and be of service, but in balanced ways that honor your time, energy, priorities, and values. I consider ditching the good girl persona to be a fun form of positive rebellion.
What does “positive rebellion” mean?
It’s the central theme in my book, A Rebel Chick Mystic’s Guide. I developed the term positive rebellion, since I wanted to have more fun in my personal development journey.
Rebels sometimes are seen as self-destructive, addicted, lonely, angry, quiet, mysterious, pessimistic, and without a purpose. Rebellion also carries with it a history of political violence.
My approach, however, is quite different. With positive rebellion, you’re choosing to do both small and big things that are loving, supportive, or helpful for yourself or others or both. Instead of rebelling against the idea of authority, you honor your own inner authority, along with others’ wisdom that resonates with you. You may start to know your own personal truth that lives in your heart. You’ll notice that you are no longer willing to stay stuck or buy into negative or limiting beliefs, ideas, or situations.
As a lifelong rebel, I was tired of the New Age guilt that some imposed upon me during my spiritual quest. Some said snarky things like, “Oh, well, you attracted that,” and the like, in response to some of my life challenges. Although I have studied the universal laws like the law of attraction and am a big believer in personal responsibility, it felt at times, similar in judgment energy to the followers of the religion of my childhood.
I’ve worked with affirmations and other healing tools for over 20 years. I noticed that there’s this small window of time where you have to reject what no longer serves you before implementing a new belief or creating a new feeling or emotional state. The rejection aspect usually is short in duration and over time, I think it lessens or is eliminated as you create positive beliefs, feelings, and emotions through your practice. I decided that this rejection felt similar to rebellion, but it was a positive type of rejection or rebellion. It felt more enjoyable to infuse this term in my self-help work and process than muscling through things like it was a weight-training regime at a gym.
You are stepping out into world in a big, bold way with this book–was it easy for you to put yourself out there?
Oh, hell, no.
I took a big risk because my book is for women, but it’s not about how to find your ideal partner or fit into a size 6. It’s about shifting the crap that holds you back from being happy. Happiness doesn’t always seem sexy to people in the marketplace.
When it came to putting myself out there more, I tried my best to be down-to-earth, honest, and real. I myself tend to resonate with transparent teachers, so this felt right. I always teach that if you take small action steps one at a time outside your comfort zone, it will increase your courage.
So, I took my own advice and just did one thing at a time until my book became published. Ultimately, thinking about the women I was going to help in larger numbers is what helped me to put myself out there. I wanted to help people and I knew that would require me to step out more. I figured I’d let the courage show up later, after I took action. That is usually how it has worked for me.
What fears did you face?
I think the normal human stuff. I was worried about rejection, which is not very rebel-like, I know. Originally, I thought that I was going to self-publish my book, which would have felt safer, but I wanted to challenge myself more and get a traditional publisher. Some of fears were that only my mom and best friend would buy my book.
Whenever I walk into unknown territory, I initially freak out, especially if I have to make my own rules or blaze a new trail. I tend towards being afraid of success at times, I’ll admit, much more than failure. To me, failure is a process of learning. You’re investing in yourself and so, really, there is no failure. Success makes you more visible, and you can become open fodder for naysayers. I wrote my chapter, Be Seen and Be Heard just as much for me as for my readers. It’s a process and journey to be more visible, that’s for sure, especially for those of us rebel souls who are sensitive emotionally.
What did you do to unleash yourself?
I decided to really own my rocker chick self. I figured the world needed me. The world needs everyone to really shine and show up as their true selves. I noticed all the people I admired throughout history were the freaks, misfits, weirdos, renegades, and visionaries. I figured I was in good company.
My official unleashing probably happened when I had to write a biography for an event. I didn’t feel like listing all of my qualifications and decided to subvert the whole thing in a fun way by adding the following to my bio:
“I like to bring a little bit of sass and spunk, glitter and glam, leather, rock and roll wisdom, and punk rock attitude, mixed with generous helpings of love and laughter to the spiritual and self-help fields.”
It just felt right. I’m a 1970s glam rocker and a punk rocker type of chick who plays electric guitar. So, saying that I’m a coach or who I’ve studied with felt not-so-genuine. I am a free spirit and not about titles, degrees, and qualifications, unless we’re talking about the Ph.D. I earned from the School of Hard Knocks 🙂
Where do you see other women struggling to be their true selves? What advice can you offer them?
I think women are naturally intuitive and truly know what is best for their lives within their beautiful guts, hearts, and spirits. We hold ourselves back at times because we’re worried what others, especially loved ones will think of us. We stop ourselves from taking action or expressing ourselves fully.
At times, I see women base their happiness on externals such as the state of their relationships, bank accounts, and career titles. At the end of the day, we can be so busy taking care of others’ needs that we forget that we are this passionate, beautiful woman that has dreams, goals, vision, and things that she wants to birth into the world.
The only advice I really can give in good consciousness is to follow your heart. It can take practice to follow your heart, but over time, it gets easier. Before making a decision or working on something, I try to ask myself each day, “Does this lead me closer to my heart’s desires?” I always feel if you do things from the heart, they are done with great love. With love, you can’t go wrong.
What is your favorite flavor of cupcake?
This little bakery in my area makes the best gluten-free chocolate bumpy cake cupcakes. So, I’d have to say chocolate. At times, my inner child craves cupcakes that are chocolate cake with a heap of that really sweet white frosting and sprinkles or glittery, colored sugars.
What’s your super power?
Connecting with the divine source to channel my creativity and true self, I’d say. Plugging into source (God, Universe, etc.) brings all the goodness into one’s life, including healing, solutions, intuition, ideas, and love. I love teaching others through my coaching how to plug into this loving energy too. It doesn’t have to be hard, time-consuming, or scary at all. It can be fun 🙂
About Lisa: Women’s self-esteem expert and rocker chick Lisa Marie Selow is a life coach, motivational speaker, modern mystic, and author who has been coaching hundreds of women to be more courageous since 1998. Her new book, A Rebel Chick Mystic’s Guide: Healing Your Spirit With Positive Rebellion (Hay House, Inc.), assists women in living by their own rules. Lisa lives in Detroit, Michigan with her husband, JT, along with a few, electric guitars. For a free email course, A Rebel Chick Mystic’s Power Tool Kit: Get Happier, Get Braver, and Get Sexier!, visit http://lisaselow.com