I used to tell this story over and over again. It was the reason why I didn’t have a boyfriend, wasn’t putting myself out there in my business, and hated the thought of any kind of verbal confrontation.
You see I grew up thinking that I was a “fat whale.” My brothers told me so, and although my parents never used those exact words, it was common knowledge that I was too fat.
I would never get a husband. No one cool would want to be my friend. Matter of fact, my being fat seemed to negate any of my achievements: she plays the oboe so well, if only she’d lose that baby fat.
Being fat became the reason for everything that I didn’t have. I didn’t have a boyfriend because guys didn’t like fat girls. I didn’t get the part in the play cause I was not the right “type”. I didn’t get the job I wanted because I was too big. Of course, no one ever came out and said that it was the reason, but I knew what was going on.
I put up big strong walls around me in order to avoid confrontations. I hated arguments because I was petrified that “you’re a fat whale” was going to be hurled at me and negate any real points that I was making.
As I got older, being fat became my scapegoat. I blamed it for everything!
It was was the reason why guys always wanted to be my friend but not date me. I was afraid to put myself out there and be seen in my business. And, it made me hide out in the shadows instead of shining bright and flying my freak flag.
Once I started down my self-development path, I began to recognize being fat for what it was…a scapegoat…..a way not to take responsibility for my life.
In reality, being fat was a safe place to hid. It was an easy excuse. But it wasn’t the reason for my not having a relationship or putting myself out there.
Being fat covered up my real feelings of not being good enough or deserving of a relationship. It masked my hostility towards men and fear of being criticized. It was an easy place to hid out instead of pushing myself outside of my comfort zone.
Once I started to get real with myself and ditched the scapegoat, I was able to truly see what was going on for me, and address the real issues.
What’s your scapegoat?
I’ve seen people use money, illness, weight, relationships, education, and many more.
I invite you to drop it and take a look at what’s really in your way.