The late night monster………

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night feeling the swirl of fear & anxiety?

I have a few times recently.

I want to put out there that I am not typically an anxious person.
I am not a worrier. So it was strange for me to wake up with this.

My mind was swirling with anxiety around money, and not doing enough in my business,
and not doing everything I can to promote my classes. A whole series of swirling
thoughts around how I am going to lose my house, and I was fucking everything up.

It felt awful……like my world was going to collapse around me at any minute. There was lots of pressure and a sinking swirling feeling in my stomach.

My mind became full of all kinds of things that I should do right then in order
to save myself from impending disaster. I wanted to spring into action…..mind you it was 4 AM….
Not really the time for taking action in my book. Besides, there was a driving feeling of
desperation behind my actions…and I do not want to do anything from that place.

As lay there, unable to sleep and my mind swirling around, I realized that this feeling
was familiar. I have had it before in my life, every now and again. When I would wake up in it,
I would attach it to whatever big thing was going on in my life at the time. Whatever I was
afraid of losing. This time the story just happened to be around money.

This energy monster  can be tricky. It tries to convince me that I am in
danger….that am about to lose it all. It is easy to fall into the fear and believe
that it is true.  It is easy to lay there in the fearful, anxious mental swirl, unable
to sleep and worrying about what is to come.

As I lay there caught up in the fear, it was easy to create a powerful story
around not having enough money, and being on the verge of ruin.

But that is not the story that I want to live.

I chose a fun, meaningful, prosperous life.

So what did I do to scare this late night monster away?

I acknowledge that this feeling is there without attaching a story to it.

“ I see & feel you lurking about and waking me up ! I don’t know what
you are, but I am not going to fall into your trap.”

Then I do my best to distract myself into a better feeling place.
The other night that looked like this:

  • ~I took note of all the amazing things I have been working on and how
    good it felt to be doing it.

    ~Reminding myself that I paid all my bills and still had money left over, and that I do have resources available to me.

    .~Thinking about my awesome weekend and all the fun I had hanging with my friends.

    .Then I decided to read a bit of a book for a while until I was sleepy .

    That did the trick…the monster crawled off into the night and I was able to fall
    asleep again. I woke up feeling refreshed, energized, and I actually had some new
    found clarity around something that I had been pondering lately.

    The trick is not to fall into the monster’s trap. Don’t buy into the negative
    energy and get caught up in the swirl and begin to attach a story to explain
    why you are feeling that way. Let the energy be without explaining it.
    Don’t feed it with a name, and a story and all the reasons why it is there.
    Do acknowledge it, but chose to focus your attention somewhere else.
    Chose some better feeling thoughts.

    Chose the “Good Reality”.

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