Lately, I have been having conversations with people about the places that feel crappy in their lives. It doesn’t matter what part of their life they are speaking about, the story is always the same-
This is what I have to put up with in order to have the: job, money, family, relationship, or the lifestyle that I want.
My response to them is: “Who says?”
I want to know who made up this rule!
The one that says you “have to” put up with something in your life that feels bad on a regular basis in order to have what you desire.
It appears like lots of people have bought into this rule! I see people struggling with this on a daily basis. They dread going to work, or they are not getting the affection they desire from their relationship. They may feel stuck in something or uninspired by their life. They settle for a less than satisfying situation because they think that is the only option. Then they suffer through it.
I wonder when it became “OK” to feel like that? I have to imagine that on some level you feel that it is OK for parts of your life to feel crappy if you resign yourself to staying in that place.
I was stuck in this trap too!
I had bought into the story that certain things in life were supposed to feel bad especially work! They don’t call it work for nothing right?
I thought I was supposed to make things happen by working long hard hours and always striving. You always took the highest paying job no matter if you liked it or not, because it was all about the money. It did not matter that I was exhausted, disconnected, uninspired, watching too much TV and needing to get “my party on” a few times a week.
I was stuck in a story that said this was just how life was.
I had to suffer, tune out, feel stuck, and be uninspired so that I could do the things I was supposed to do in order to have the things I wanted in life. It seemed to me that everyone around me was caught up in a similar situation.
Boy did it feel crappy!
Funny thing is, I was so caught up in this story that I did not really know the difference. I thought that was how life was supposed to be. Sometimes, I would suspect that there could be more to life. I would glimpse it every now and then in other peoples eye’s, but I could never figure out what it was exactly.
A New Perspective
Then I read a really cool book called the Four Agreements . It suggested to me that life was meant to feel good. I did not have to struggle in order to have what I wanted. I could make my own rules for how I lived my life.Opening up to this possibility shifted many things for me.
I made the choice to find a different work environment that felt better to me and I still made money. It was no longer OK to feel stuck. If it felt bad on a regular basis- something had to change. I had to change. I began working with a coach. I started to question my old story that said work was supposed to be hard and I had to suffer through in order to be successful.
Now my Reality is Different!
I no longer struggle against things that feel bad. I know that there is always a solution and it is possible to find a different way of approaching things. It does not mean I abandon something, but rather find a new way of approaching it that works for me.
If something is not feeling right, I determine what will make it feel better and I take steps to change it. I am back in a place of choice.
I make the rules for my life now. My number 1 rule is that I feel good in every aspect of my life.
What’s your number 1 rule going to be? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below.