Why are we all so clueless when it comes to our own happiness?

Back in the day I was miserable in my job, and my “exciting, fabulous life” was completely unsatisfying. I was having a major identity crisis and had no idea who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do with my life.

On the surface it looked like I had it all. I had a job that paid well that I had lots of opportunities at. I had a nice apartment in the cool part of town. I was “somebody” in my social scene and I got VIP treatment at all the nightclubs and restaurants that I went to. I had a large circle of friends and there was always something to do.

It all felt so meaningless to me. I knew that there was something more out there for me, but I had no idea what it was. I felt unsatisfied, and this was a problem. It made me cranky, frustrated, and I liked to blame everyone else, especially at work, for my dissatisfaction. I was stressed out most of the time and I got sick a lot.

I had no idea what I wanted, I just knew that what I was living was not it.

How is it possible that I had no clue about what I wanted?

How could I not know what would bring satisfaction and meaning to my life?

I know that I’m not unique in having this problem. I hear similar stories from clients all the time.

I feel that I am meant for something more, but I am not sure what that is.

I am not sure what I want but I know that this is not “it”.

I want my life and work to be more meaningful, but I have no idea what that looks like.

How can everyone be so clueless around what would make them happy?

I think it all boils down to this:

We are not taught how to determine what would feel meaningful and make us happy.

We are actually taught the opposite.

We are taught how to; behave, do as we’re told, follow the rules, and like what we’re given.

And if you are like me, you spent a lot of time resisting this, but ultimately you learned that it was easier to play along and fit in.

You learn how to tune out the part of you that says “but I want this” and you half-heartedly embrace what you’re supposed to want.

BUT, there is always a part of you that is crying out for something more. Unfortunately, you get really good at ignoring it because it is too painful to hear.

The end result is that you hit your thirties and start to wonder “Is this it?”  and a mid-life crisis is waiting for you right around the bend.

So….. what do you do?

How do you learn to tune into what really is meaningful to YOU and will make YOU happy?

Here are a few tips to get you started.

Start listening to the part of you that wants more from life. Give it permission to come forward and be heard.

Notice the parts of your life that feel bad to you. Get specific around what does not work for you. Then ask yourself what you would want instead.

Commit to looking for things that feel good and make you happy. Embrace them even if they’re unconventional and far from the norm.

Try these tips out and let me know what you discover in the comments below.

If you decide that you are tired of struggling with this on your own, send me an email by clicking here, to discuss how we can work together to get you clear on exactly what will bring more meaning and satisfaction to your life.

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